“Emily.” Flash
fiction by Emma Tungatt
Cold. Darkness. Leaking Pipes. Smashed windows. Squeaking
doors blowing in the deathly draft. You’d think this sort of place would be in
an abandoned home or warehouse that’s been untouched for decades, but this room
exists where you’d least expect it. The school toilets.
No one goes
in the school toilets, unless you are the bravest of the brave. The school
toilets aren’t just scary because they’ve been abandoned and neglected for
years. It’s the little girl that makes them scary. The little girl called,
Emily. Emily gets angry easily, especially when you go into the toilets without
her permission… that’s why my friends and I went looking for her.
“I can’t believe we’re in school for Halloween this year!
What’s scary about being in school?” Whined Amelia. “The only scary thing in
this school is Mrs Cook when she hasn’t got make up on!” Billy joked. Billy was
always trying to make a joke out of everything. “I know something dead scary
that we could do...” Everyone turned to Charley, intrigued to know what this
dead scary adventure would be. “We could go see Emily.” “Emily doesn’t exist!
No one has ever seen her.” Billy protested. “That’s because they didn’t ask her
to play! You have to ask Emily to play, so she’ll come out from her hiding
place, my brother told me.” I corrected. “Let’s do it! I’m not having a boring
Halloween all because of stupid school” Amelia whined, again. “Yes! Tomorrow
lunch time, the 31st of October, Halloween, we will go and find Emily!”
Charley decided for the 4 of us. So that was it, we was going to find Emily.
Friday 31st October. Halloween. Lunch time; we all met at the usual
place, ate our lunch and set off to Emily’s toilets. Charley and Amelia went in
first, me and Billy followed.
The rain was
hammering against the filthy blackened windows. The wind whistling through the
crumbling decaying walls. The scurrying and squeaks of mice and rats running
around on the cracked tiles, the noise echoing around the room.
“We have to stand side by side, facing the mirror and chant
‘Emily, Emily, come out and play. Emily, Emily, what do you say? Emily, Emily
come out and play.’” Explained Charley. So the four of us got into a line
facing the mirror. Amelia, Billy and Charley started the chant; I just stood
there silently with my eyes sealed shut. Suddenly, there was a scream. An icy
chill spread around the room. I opened my eyes. There she was. Emily. Emily’s a
small, timid, little girl with plaits and bows in her oaky brown hair and a
musty pink pinafore over her stripy sea blue and dirty white top. Emily had
blood on her clothes and hands. She was a little girl who had death in her
eyes. Everything went dark. When the lights came back on Amelia, Billy, Charley
and Emily were gone, I was alone. I never saw my friends or Emily again.
Typical short horror story, pulled off effectively. You would easily be able to retell some details to other people. The chant is easy to recall and could be told to a younger person to scare them. It seems to have the 'Bloody Mary' method to it, which allows us to picture it clearly. Being set in the toilets reminds us of the toilet ghost stories in primary school. It reminds me of a 'scary' childrens book. A very clear, easy to understand story, though the twist of the character never seeing her friends again is quite predictable.
ReplyDeleteImpressive story with a range of phonological features to keep the reader entertained. The ending was predictable but worked due to the audience its aimed at. The range of adjectives kept me interested and made me want to read on. The description of walking into the toilets was very detailed which helped me maintain interest and I could picture the scenario well.
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